The Loop: The Nipsey Russell 2024 Baseball Preview

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MINNESOTA TWINS
“Handle with Care”
After injurious years
Buxton’s garnering cheers
Returning to outfield action
But we’re fearing, by fall
He’ll again deed the wall
And helium finishes play successful traction

 Byron Buxton #25 of the Minnesota Twins reacts aft  getting deed  by a transportation   during the 4th  inning against the Cleveland Guardians astatine  Target Field connected  June 1, 2023 successful  Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Twins defeated the Guardians 7-6. (Photo by Matt Krohn/Getty Images)MINNEAPOLIS, MN – JUNE 1: Byron Buxton #25 of the Minnesota Twins reacts aft getting deed by a transportation during the 4th inning against the Cleveland Guardians astatine Target Field connected June 1, 2023 successful Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Twins defeated the Guardians 7-6. (Photo by Matt Krohn/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES DODGERS
“Shohei the Money”
Ohtani is destined to thrill
On Dodgers with Freeman and Betts
But he’d request 700 mill
To wage his interpreter’s debts

 Shohei Ohtani #17 of the Los Angeles Dodgers warms up   connected  platform  during the 5th  inning of the MLB outpouring  crippled  astatine  Camelback Ranch connected  March 12, 2024 successful  Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)GLENDALE, ARIZONA – MARCH 12: Shohei Ohtani #17 of the Los Angeles Dodgers warms up connected platform during the 5th inning of the MLB outpouring crippled astatine Camelback Ranch connected March 12, 2024 successful Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

TEXAS RANGERS
“The Last Shall Be First”
This outfit was rather insignificant leaguer
‘Til spending a boatload connected Seager
Caused a cardinal encephalon cramps
By becoming satellite champs
An all-time upset by the meager

Texas Rangers manager   Bruce Bochy celebrates with the trophy aft  winning Game 5 of the shot   World Series against the Arizona Diamondbacks Wednesday, Nov. 1, 2023, successful  Phoenix. The Rangers won 5-0 to triumph   the bid    4-1. (AP Photo/Brynn Anderson)Texas Rangers manager Bruce Bochy celebrates with the trophy aft winning Game 5 of the shot World Series against the Arizona Diamondbacks Wednesday, Nov. 1, 2023, successful Phoenix. The Rangers won 5-0 to triumph the bid 4-1. (AP Photo/Brynn Anderson)

MILWAUKEE BREWERS
“Arms Race Lost”
With nary Woodruff, nary Burnes
Milwaukee’s destiny turns
The Brew Crew is stuck with nary aces
It volition beryllium rather the bummer
Spending each of this summer
Bouncing circular betwixt 4th and 5th places

 Corbin Burnes #39 of the Milwaukee Brewers pitches successful  the bottommost  of the eighth inning against the New York Yankees astatine  Yankee Stadium connected  September 10, 2023 successful  the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Christopher Pasatieri/Getty Images)NEW YORK, NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 10: Corbin Burnes #39 of the Milwaukee Brewers pitches successful the bottommost of the eighth inning against the New York Yankees astatine Yankee Stadium connected September 10, 2023 successful the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Christopher Pasatieri/Getty Images)

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
“Brotherly Choke”
Fans were laughing themselves precise silly
On the brink of World Series successful Philly
But alternatively of a rout
D-Backs knocked Phillies out
Drowned their woes successful Bud Light: Dilly! Dilly

 Bryce Harper #3 of the Philadelphia Phillies reacts aft  flying retired  against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the 5th  inning successful  Game Seven of the Championship Series astatine  Citizens Bank Park connected  October 24, 2023 successful  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images)PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA – OCTOBER 24: Bryce Harper #3 of the Philadelphia Phillies reacts aft flying retired against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the 5th inning successful Game Seven of the Championship Series astatine Citizens Bank Park connected October 24, 2023 successful Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images)

BOSTON RED SOX
“Dumpster Fire of the Vanities”
Sox person been beauteous sloppy
Since the exit of Poppy
Mediocrity soils The Hub
Now the Fenway Park snobs
Join the working-class slobs
In booing their second-rate club

 Christian Arroyo #39 and manager   Alex Cora #13 of the Boston Red Sox look   connected  from the dugout against the Houston Astros during the 4th  inning successful  Game Six of the American League Championship Series astatine  Minute Maid Park connected  October 22, 2021 successful  Houston, Texas. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)HOUSTON, TEXAS – OCTOBER 22: Christian Arroyo #39 and manager Alex Cora #13 of the Boston Red Sox look connected from the dugout against the Houston Astros during the 4th inning successful Game Six of the American League Championship Series astatine Minute Maid Park connected October 22, 2021 successful Houston, Texas. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

OAKLAND ATHLETICS
“Loss, Vegas”
Almost done with their Oakland hiatus
Set to stink up the Strip erstwhile successful Vegas
Will instrumentality oodles of luck
For this putrid lame duck
To get retired of the cellar; they’re stuck

 With the determination  to determination   from Oakland to Las Vegas fans of the Oakland Athletics bent  signs from the close    tract  seats during the crippled  against the Cincinnati Reds astatine  RingCentral Coliseum connected  April 28, 2023 successful  Oakland, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA – APRIL 28: With the determination to determination from Oakland to Las Vegas fans of the Oakland Athletics bent signs from the close tract seats during the crippled against the Cincinnati Reds astatine RingCentral Coliseum connected April 28, 2023 successful Oakland, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS
“You Cannot beryllium Series-ous”
Arizonans saw their phoenix arise
The Diamondbacks’ surge was nary fake
T’would lone beryllium much of surprise
If they someway elite Kari Lake

 Gabriel Moreno #14, Paul Sewald #38 and Emmanuel Rivera #15 of the Arizona Diamondbacks observe  aft  beating the Philadelphia Phillies 4-2 successful  Game Seven of the Championship Series astatine  Citizens Bank Park connected  October 24, 2023 successful  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA – OCTOBER 24: Gabriel Moreno #14, Paul Sewald #38 and Emmanuel Rivera #15 of the Arizona Diamondbacks observe aft beating the Philadelphia Phillies 4-2 successful Game Seven of the Championship Series astatine Citizens Bank Park connected October 24, 2023 successful Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)

CHICAGO CUBS
“Stuck successful Wrigleyville”
Bellinger came backmost connected the Chicago stage
He’s gonna currency in, said the chorus
But he’s playing this play for minimum wage
GMs bushed of paying Scott Boras

 Cody Bellinger #24 of the Chicago Cubs reacts aft  scoring connected  a RBI azygous  by Yan Gomes #15 successful  the 2nd  inning astatine  Truist Park connected  September 26, 2023 successful  Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)ATLANTA, GEORGIA – SEPTEMBER 26: Cody Bellinger #24 of the Chicago Cubs reacts aft scoring connected a RBI azygous by Yan Gomes #15 successful the 2nd inning astatine Truist Park connected September 26, 2023 successful Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

NEW YORK YANKEES
“From So-so to Soto”
The Yankees broke slope to motion Soto
With a World Series rubric their goal
They’ve got amended accidental winning the lotto
If elbow’s disabling Cole

New York Yankees' Juan Soto hits an RBI azygous  during the 5th  inning of a shot   crippled  against the Houston Astros, Thursday, March 28, 2024, successful  Houston. (AP Photo/Kevin M. Cox)New York Yankees’ Juan Soto hits an RBI azygous during the 5th inning of a shot crippled against the Houston Astros, Thursday, March 28, 2024, successful Houston. (AP Photo/Kevin M. Cox)

ATLANTA BRAVES
“Ronald Trumped”
Acuna’s alone: 40-70 Dude!
A play of glorious thrills
But travel each October, a sickening mood
When Braves get dismantled by Phils

 Ronald Acuna Jr. #13 of the Atlanta Braves reacts aft  flying retired  successful  the seventh inning against the Philadelphia Phillies during Game Four of the Division Series astatine  Citizens Bank Park connected  October 12, 2023 successful  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA – OCTOBER 12: Ronald Acuna Jr. #13 of the Atlanta Braves reacts aft flying retired successful the seventh inning against the Philadelphia Phillies during Game Four of the Division Series astatine Citizens Bank Park connected October 12, 2023 successful Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)

TORONTO BLUE JAYS
“Fat City”
The astir apt scenario
For the fans of Ontario
More angst from their overblown club
They enactment each religion successful Vladdie
Who is acold from his daddy
Stuck with prima who’s a spot of a chub

 Vladimir Guerrero Jr. #27 of the Toronto Blue Jays reacts aft  being tagged retired  by Carlos Correa #4 of the Minnesota Twins during the 5th  inning successful  Game Two of the Wild Card Series astatine  Target Field connected  October 04, 2023 successful  Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA – OCTOBER 04: Vladimir Guerrero Jr. #27 of the Toronto Blue Jays reacts aft being tagged retired by Carlos Correa #4 of the Minnesota Twins during the 5th inning successful Game Two of the Wild Card Series astatine Target Field connected October 04, 2023 successful Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

MIAMI MARLINS
“Single Hitter”
Arraez remained rather the hitter
When helium came to the Fish from the Twins
But successful South Beach he’s bound to crook bitter
‘Cause their fans are outnumbered by wins

 Luis Arraez #3 of the Miami Marlins celebrates hitting a location  tally  against the Atlanta Braves during the archetypal  inning astatine  loanDepot parkland  connected  September 15, 2023 successful  Miami, Florida. (Photo by Rich Storry/Getty Images)MIAMI, FLORIDA – SEPTEMBER 15: Luis Arraez #3 of the Miami Marlins celebrates hitting a location tally against the Atlanta Braves during the archetypal inning astatine loanDepot parkland connected September 15, 2023 successful Miami, Florida. (Photo by Rich Storry/Getty Images)

BALTIMORE ORIOLES
“The Busts of October”
T’was not successful the cards
In aged Camden Yards
After Orioles’ ‘23 rise
Dreams collapsed successful a heap
Thanks to postseason sweep
Charm City: wherever anticipation ever dies

 Adley Rutschman #35 of the Baltimore Orioles runs to archetypal  basal  against the Texas Rangers during Game Two of the American League Division Series astatine  Oriole Park astatine  Camden Yards connected  October 08, 2023 successful  Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)BALTIMORE, MARYLAND – OCTOBER 08: Adley Rutschman #35 of the Baltimore Orioles runs to archetypal basal against the Texas Rangers during Game Two of the American League Division Series astatine Oriole Park astatine Camden Yards connected October 08, 2023 successful Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES ANGELS
“Mike Drop”
There’s ne'er been crushed to doubt
The hallway of fame endowment of Trout
Yet they’ll ne'er spell far
‘Til they clone superstar
There’s nary extremity to their postseason drought

Mike Trout #27 of the Los Angeles Angels looks connected  during a outpouring  grooming  accumulation  against the Los Angeles Dodgers astatine  the Peoria Sports Complex connected  February 24, 2024 successful  Tempe, Arizona. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)TEMPE, ARIZONA – FEBRUARY 24:Mike Trout #27 of the Los Angeles Angels looks connected during a outpouring grooming accumulation against the Los Angeles Dodgers astatine the Peoria Sports Complex connected February 24, 2024 successful Tempe, Arizona. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)

CINCINNATI REDS
“Red Hots”
The Nati is filled with young hitters
Forgive america for pointing retired truth
They’re playing successful kiddie-size ballpark
Where everyone slugs similar Babe Ruth

 Elly De La Cruz #44 of the Cincinnati Reds watches a two-run location  tally  during the ninth inning against the Cleveland Guardians astatine  Progressive Field connected  September 26, 2023 successful  Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)CLEVELAND, OHIO – SEPTEMBER 26: Elly De La Cruz #44 of the Cincinnati Reds watches a two-run location tally during the ninth inning against the Cleveland Guardians astatine Progressive Field connected September 26, 2023 successful Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)

HOUSTON ASTROS
“The Yordan Rules”
Alvarez is existent hitting king
His tape-measure homers are fabled
Yet ‘Stros won’t beryllium adding a ring
With astir starting pitchers disabled

 Yordan Alvarez #44 of the Houston Astros celebrates from 3rd  basal  aft  hitting a triple against Max Scherzer #31 of the Texas Rangers during the 3rd  inning successful  Game Seven of the American League Championship Series astatine  Minute Maid Park connected  October 23, 2023 successful  Houston, Texas. (Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images)HOUSTON, TEXAS – OCTOBER 23: Yordan Alvarez #44 of the Houston Astros celebrates from 3rd basal aft hitting a triple against Max Scherzer #31 of the Texas Rangers during the 3rd inning successful Game Seven of the American League Championship Series astatine Minute Maid Park connected October 23, 2023 successful Houston, Texas. (Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images)

NEW YORK METS
“Billions”
In Flushing, they’re knowin’
That, acknowledgment to Steve Cohen
The Mets volition beryllium leaders successful spending
But occurrence is bewitching
This year, got nary pitching
Another debacle’s impending

 Mets proprietor  Steve Cohen astatine  the opening   of the coronavirus (COVID-19) vaccination tract  astatine  Citi Field connected  February 10, 2021 successful  the Queens borough of New York City. The inoculation tract  volition  absorption   connected  providing vaccinations to Queens residents, nutrient  work  workers, and taxi drivers. (Photo by David Dee Delgado/Getty Images)NEW YORK, NEW YORK – FEBRUARY 10: Mets proprietor Steve Cohen astatine the opening of the coronavirus (COVID-19) vaccination tract astatine Citi Field connected February 10, 2021 successful the Queens borough of New York City. The inoculation tract volition absorption connected providing vaccinations to Queens residents, nutrient work workers, and taxi drivers. (Photo by David Dee Delgado/Getty Images)

SAN DIEGO PADRES
“Can You Hear the Taps, Fernando?”
The ‘23 Padres were trending
Thanks to ungodly splurges of spending
But this franchise is cursed
Several miles retired of first
Their delusions of grandeur are ending

 Fernando Tatis Jr. #23 of the San Diego Padres celebrates aft  hitting a solo location  tally  successful  the apical  of the archetypal  inning against the Oakland Athletics astatine  RingCentral Coliseum connected  September 15, 2023 successful  Oakland, California. Players are wearing #21 and patches with 21 successful  grant   of Roberto Clemente Day. (Photo by Lachlan Cunningham/Getty Images)OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA – SEPTEMBER 15: Fernando Tatis Jr. #23 of the San Diego Padres celebrates aft hitting a solo location tally successful the apical of the archetypal inning against the Oakland Athletics astatine RingCentral Coliseum connected September 15, 2023 successful Oakland, California. Players are wearing #21 and patches with 21 successful grant of Roberto Clemente Day. (Photo by Lachlan Cunningham/Getty Images)

SEATTLE MARINERS
“Pacific Coast”
Won nary titles with Griffey
With Ichiro, inactive iffy
They’ve won nary much rings than the Pilots
But astatine last, M’s are blessed
They’re American League’s best
Get acceptable for Space Needle riots

 Julio Rodriguez #44 of the Seattle Mariners slaps hands with fans connected  his mode   to the dugout earlier  a outpouring  grooming  crippled  against the Los Angeles Angels astatine  Peoria Sports Complex connected  March 07, 2024 successful  Peoria, Arizona. (Photo by Aaron Doster/Getty Images)PEORIA, ARIZONA – MARCH 07: Julio Rodriguez #44 of the Seattle Mariners slaps hands with fans connected his mode to the dugout earlier a outpouring grooming crippled against the Los Angeles Angels astatine Peoria Sports Complex connected March 07, 2024 successful Peoria, Arizona. (Photo by Aaron Doster/Getty Images)

PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS
National League East:
1. Braves 2. Phillies 3. Marlins 4. Mets 5. Nationals
National League Central:
1. Cubs 2. Reds 3. Cardinals 4. Pirates 5. Brewers
National League West:
1. Dodgers 2. Diamondbacks 3. Padres 4. Giants 5. Rockies
National League chaotic cards:
Phillies implicit Cubs, Diamondbacks implicit Reds
National League Division Series:
Dodgers implicit Phillies, Braves implicit Diamondbacks
National League Championship Series:
Braves implicit Dodgers

American League East:
1. Orioles 2. Blue Jays 3. Rays 4. Yankees 5. Red Sox
American League Central:
1. Twins 2. Tigers 3. Guardians 4. Royals 5. White Sox
American League West:
1. Mariners 2. Astros 3. Rangers 4. Angels 5. Athletics
American League chaotic cards:
Astros implicit Rangers, Mariners implicit Blue Jays
American League Division Series:
Orioles implicit Astros, Mariners implicit Twins
American League Championship Series:
Mariners implicit Orioles

2024 World Series:
Braves implicit Mariners

You tin perceive Kevin Cusick connected Wednesdays connected Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast connected iTunes. You tin travel Kevin connected Twitter — @theloopnow. He tin beryllium reached astatine kcusick@pioneerpress.com

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